| It was 2:15 AM on a hot summer's night and I was sitting in the living room of my apartment in Scottsdale, Arizona -- with no electricity. I awoke about 10 minutes earlier to total darkness and complete silence. Things that I've always taken for granted weren't working: no air conditioning, no lights, no TV, no internet, no refrigeration, no fans...no...no....no.
Even my emergency back up lights and flash lights weren't working. I'd taken them for granted, too. I had them in my apartment for just such emergencies --to provide light when monsoons knock out power -- so I just assumed they would work when there was no electricity. I never thought to check them before I actually needed them to be fully functional. My mistake.
I was alone in the dark with only thoughts and feelings, which I usually try to avoid, as company. The outer silence compared with the inner chatter of my mind was eerie. The silence -- coupled with my active mind's need to be reigned in and focused -- created a space within me to think about my life. I hunted about and located paper, a pen and matches to light candles so I could see the words that wanted to pour out of me. While I was doing this, the thought of how, when Abe Lincoln was a young boy, he read by fire light. What a wimp I was being.
Before I actually lit the candles, my mind was runny scared and was looking for immediate solutions to what part of me knew was only a temporary challenge. Who could I call in this "emergency" or if something happened in the future?
At first my mind went blank and then the names of people I thought I could rely on surfaced -- except the were at least a 45 minute drive away, or lived in another state or country or were no longer alive. (My best friend in Arizona who lived about 5 minutes away died two years ago and during challenging times I experience that void.) I also thought of friends from the past who I'd parted ways with as I went on my inward journey of self-discovery and evolution. Feelings of gratitude for all the joy they brought to my life were oozing from every pore in my body. I was grateful they had been a part of my life and understood why we needed to part ways.
Then my mind, which was distraction free due to the power outage, entertained another thought. With the advent of the internet some of the people I feel "connect with" are "virtual" friends. We've never met in person but have communicated via phone, snail mail for birthday and holiday cards, and on a regular basis using the internet. There's something about having thoughts pour out of my mind, sans filter, and onto a keyboard that's quite seductive.
It's strange but distance and relative anonymity make it easier for me to express true feelings than when I'm in the same room with a person. I think it's because, when I use my computer, there is a delay between when the message is sent and when it's read. Via email, I have time to read and reread a message to clarify my thoughts before I click "send" and the receiver has time to digest the thoughts and feelings generated by the message before they respond. This time lag creates an artificial feeling of safety. No one is going to yell at me, or hit me or belittle me or storm off in a huff. They'll have their own responses but it'll be independent of me and I'll feel safe.
The same false sense of safety may be why people write scathing letters to the editors of newspapers, call the police on noisy neighbors or exhibit road rage when the person in the car ahead of them is obeying the posted speed limits. There seems to a a cloak of invisibility and invincibility that gives the wearer the right to have his or her beliefs, wants and needs control the way the universe operates.
Vote for my candidate. Believe in "my" God and worship the way I do. Drive faster because I'm running late. Drop everything and handle my problem, NOW. I'm more important than others. That cloak of safety allows narcissism to take root and spread in all directions at once. The "Golden Rule" gets trampled on when feelings of entitlement come to the surface.
As the battery operated click in my living room slowly ticked and the heat in my apartment reached an extremely uncomfortable temperature -- nearing 100 degrees -- the silence seemed to grow louder. My mind began to look at twinkling candles in the hopes that they would magically calm me down and protect me from feeling physically and emotionally uncomfortable. There were no other distractions or activities to distance my mind from my feelings and I hated that fact. It felt as though "truth" and I were having a starring contest and "truth" wasn't blinking.
The truth was that my life was and is the result of choices I made -- to take a job that meant taking a plane to work instead of a car; to move away from where I lived most of my life to advance my career; to focus on learning and applying spiritual principles instead of partying. etc. If I'd made other choices I would have had different life experiences and I would have become a different "me" -- maybe one who enjoyed the silence that comes when there's a power outage.
Looking into the eyes of truth, I realized that, if all my prayers had been answered in the way I wanted them to be, my life wouldn't have been better or worse, just different. I might have had more emotional support, other people to handle chores and lived a more traditional life with fewer "dramas" and fewer triumphs, but my life wouldn't have been better.
I enjoy the freedom of being single: coming and going as I please, not having to cook or clean unless I'm so motivated (which isn't too often), earning money and spending it without feeling guilty or having to justify my purchases, going to the movies I want to see, eating the ethnic food that causes my mouth to water or just doing nothing at all.
But when there is no electricity and no diversions, I have to acknowledge that it would be ideal to live in both worlds. To have support and independence, togetherness and alone time, to live a fast paced life and a slower paced life, to be a homebody and a world traveler. The truth is I have to appreciate the simple as well as the complex things in life, be fully present from moment to moment to moment and trust that no matter when path I choose to take, I can't get lost and I'm always safe, whether the lights are on or not.
If I quiet my mind so I hear and follow my inner guidance system, I will always be where I need to be at the right time to learn the right lessons about how to have more joy and less stress in my life. The more I learn about myself, the more I learn about others. As a result, I will make more conscious choices and won't have to be afraid of what thoughts of feelings will come to the surface if I don't occupy my mind. Wow, what a liberating thought!
Whoopee, the lights, fans and television just came alive. I'm glad I used the silence to listen to my own thoughts and to identify what's true for me now. I may change many of my beliefs and that will be fine, too. As long as I'm honest with myself from moment to moment to moment, grateful for all my experiences and know in my soul that everything really does work out for the best, I won't be so scared when I don't have electricity. I'll remember that my life is "powered" by God and that power never goes out.
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| Posted by JP Stein at | | | |
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Boo! Happy Halloween!
I bet that greeting caught you by surprise. It was meant to. As I was leafing through my calendar I realized that Halloween is only two months away. Then I began to think about the "holiday."Isn't it interesting that on Halloween we intentionally go to places where we know we'll be scared. We even look forward to the adventure and we get energized by the fright. We feel triumphant at the end of the evening when realize that we've been terrified but we don't stay scared forever. We even know that everything associated with Halloween is ... |
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| Posted by JP Stein at | | | |
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| I was just given a wonderful opportunity to host an Internet radio show for two months. I'm already a guest expert on somebody else's Internet radio show dealing with landing a new job so I'd like to stay out of the career coaching arena, even though I am an expert in the field. Right now I'm thinking about calling the show "Life Changes Aren't for Sissies." I'd want people to share their success stories about how they moved from terror into action and lived to tell about it. Would this ... |
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| Posted by JP Stein at | | | |
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| Prosperity is just a thought away. That sounds simple doesn't it? It would be great if, by saying some magical affirmation, rubbing a crystal, reading a spiritual or religious passage, money, in large denominations and in an unending amount, fell from the heavens. We just needed to stand there with a huge basket and collect all the money we wanted, whenever we wanted it. Ah, if it were that easy. Prosperity, like everything else, starts with our intentions, beliefs and actions. I can intend to manifest large amounts of money and I can ... |
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| Posted by JP Stein at | | | |
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| I haven't been blogging for several months because I have been dealing with family and personal health challenges/"learning opportunities." I've been in contact with family members, state agencies, the phone company, social workers, caregivers, and numerous other people. I've been bounced from one person to another and had to wait on hold for what felt like eons but in reality was only minutes. The longer I had to wait the more impatient I became. That's when I had my "light bulb' moment. I realized that most of the people on the other ... |
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| Posted by JP Stein at | | | |
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Here are some words that shut down communication. You’re wrong… I never said that… You should… You must…
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| Posted by JP Stein at | | | |
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| Posted by JP Stein at | | | |
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When it rains, it pours. I just got off the phone with the husband of a long-time friend named Paula. She hasn't been answering my emails so I called to see if she retired. She was really looking forward to doing that and then to do all the things she'd put off until she no longer was employed. One of those things was coming to spend some time with me in Arizona. When I talked to her husband, David, I found out she had a stroke and has the mental capacity of a 1 year old. ... |
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| Posted by JP Stein at | | | |
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I love to go to my mailbox and get a "real" card. You know -- the old fashion kind that comes in a stamped envelope and has a somebody's actual handwritten signature at the bottom, a card that wasn't sent by pressing the enter key on a computer. I have a habit of saving cards that are especially meaningful for me. Some go into my desk and are filed away for safekeeping. When I need a morale boost or some confidence-building before I try a new task, I open the file and read those cards. Even though I've ... |
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| Posted by JP Stein at | | | |
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The following equation really summarizes what needs to take place if you want to make any lasting changes in your life. It looks easy on paper but there's a lot of work that needs to take place behind the scenes. If you change any part of the equation, you change your life – either for the better or the worse.>> > >
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